Dear Daddy: A letter from sophia
on this day many years ago your mother did me an incredible favor......
She brought into this world a man whom would change my entire life.
You have meant so much to me over the last six (almost seven) years. You have been a friend, you have been a provider, a protector, a lover, my peace even sometimes my favorite pain in the butt.
I have had the honor of watching you grow over our time together from a rough hard "street type" to a kind compassionate protective man and father. I just want you to know for better or worse it has been an absolute pleasure to love you. I thank you for walking this life with me and for allowing me room to grow within the walls of your love.
That being said I have decided to write to you what I think sophia would say to you today ...
if only she knew how.
Hi Daddy, Happy Birthday!!!! Ive loved you since before we even met. did you know that? I could always tell it was you talking at me in mommies tummy. I tried my best to kick for you so knew I could hear you. The first day we met; i could tell how much you loved me. I could see it in the wrinkles next to your eyes when you smile really big. I could feel it dropping from your tears of joy. I could hear it in the way you got chocked up just saying hello to me for the first time. The love you have for me just over flowed. Now I know I'm not what you and mommy originally signed up for. But I promise I picked you for a reason daddy. I'm sorry that it hasn't always been so easy on you. But I want you to know your doing an amazing job. I wasn't really sure what to expect of a dad; your my first one you know... but you are just what I imagined a dad would be. Your just that right mix of fiercely protective and fun. I feel safe with you always, and I know you will know just exactly how to make me smile when i need it. I also just want you to know I'm sorry that you can't protect me from all the bad things in this world. I see you trying. I see the look in your eyes when a doctor starts talking about new tests. I see you twitch in your seat during my therapy when I cry or yell because a new thing is hard for me. I hear you talking to me and praying over me when I sleep. I hear you when every time I'm sick with something you say "give it to me bitty, ill be sick for you". I hear your prayers to god that my life get easier. I love you so much daddy for wanting to save me, for wanting to take on my struggles for me. but daddy.. its the only way for me to learn and grow, i think you know that already though don't you..... So my next thank you is for allowing me to grow and learn. I know how easy it would be for you to keep me locked away all for yourself. I know as a dad it is your first instinct to protect me. and I love you for it. But I love you more for holding that urge and allowing me to explore my world. I know its not always easy on you. Also thank you for watching after mommy. She tries so hard. I wish I could help her, I wish I could tell her to relax that she's doing just fine, that I'm happy. But since I can't. Thank you for making sure she knows how special she is. I don't think people tell her that enough. You guys probably don't realize this.... but I've seen you guys' love pull you through some seriously hard times. Without you I don't know if mommy would have been able to be okay with our new life. Those nights were you let her cry herself to sleep while you rubbed her head. All the days that you hugged her hard enough to hold her broken pieces together. Thank you for loving her daddy. She's so special to me and she needs you . Do you want to know what makes me the happiest? The way you carry me, like nothing in the world means more. The way you run with me around the playground so I can feel the wind in my hair. The way you snatch me out of mommies arms at your job and show me off to everyone there. Like I am your pride and joy. I love you for never trying to make me quiet in a store when I'm having a bad day. I love you for wiping the drool off my chin with your shirt or hand without thinking twice about it grossing out other people. I love you for making it to every major appointment and every parents day in preschool. Some people think I don't notice. But I do daddy and you know that. Thank you for having faith in my ability to overcome in my own way, on my own time, from day one. But also thank you for not standing in the way of people who are trying to help me reach my highest potential. I know its not easy to trust them, but thank you for trying. I love you for loving me daddy. You didn't have to. You could have left me with mommy; she would have eventually figured it out like all the other mommies without help do. But thank you for being strong enough to love me. Thank you for having courage enough to love me with your whole being. I hope the way I smile and scrunch my shoulders every time you say "BITTY GIRL" lets you know your my best friend and my fun. I hope the way I reach for you lets you know I love seeing you and look forward to our time. I hope the way I snuggle into your chest and stay there lets you know I feel safe with you. I hope the way I only fall asleep with you on extra bad days shows you that I need you. I hope that someday, daddy, I can tell you these things myself with my own voice. But until then. Happy birthday Daddy ; Thank you for loving us and working so hard for us.
